Asparagus: two ways

Roasted Asparagus, seasoned with salt and pepper

Asparagus makes my world go round.  I also like little Japanese boys (forget about little white boys that hit on you at the beach) and sweating a lot.  You know, because I'm nasty and like to share with you my deepest darkest secrets.

So if you couldn't tell, those were all lies.  Because I'm just like that. I really hate asparagus.  It makes my urine smell terrible.  It's the only cursed vegetable my family cannot tame.  I mean, seriously.  Throw them into the stir-fry?  They come out mushy.  Wrap them with bacon and bake them in the oven?  Well I guess we just wasted that packet of bacon by burning the whole batch to a black crisp.  And yet, my mother still likes to torture me, buying them by the bundle.

She did it again today too.  We went to the 99 Cent store to buy some hangers for college, and somehow we found ourselves in the produce section.  (Before Target became your neighborhood grocer, the 99 Cent store was the place to go, apparently.)  And guess what she bought?  ASPARAGUS.  ASPARAG--WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO--US!  My mother is not the world's greatest cook (blasphemy, I know), and this summer, she has discovered that to make up for that, she has given birth to a daughter with decent cooking abilities.  So in return for giving birth to me, I've become the sous chef of the family--my dad's head chef.

Above all other vegetables, I have issues with washing asparagus.  So my mom and I made a deal: she washes the veggies, and I give cooking it a shot.

Today I have for you, roasted asparagus and ham-wrapped asparagus.  I know what you're thinking, "Ham?  What happened to prosciutto or bacon?"  Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but I have an Asian kitchen which does not normally stock up on non-Asian ingredients, unless I specifically ask for it.  (My friends like to call my kitchen disfunctional, but let's not be mean.)  Since asparagus was the surprise of the day, I only had so much that I could work with.

The roasted asparagus was good, but it was the ham-wrapped asparagus that was to die for.  The ham I used was turkey ham from cured turkey thigh and was really juicy and flavorful on its own.  So baking it along with the vegetable really seasoned the asparagus.  I'm so glad I didn't use the thin Budding ham slices my father usually buys for his sandwiches.  I will definitely be making this over and over again.

So I'll admit, I shouldn't have judged this vegetable so quickly.  It's not necessarily asparagus' fault that my family cannot work with it.  It still makes my pee smell, but I'm starting to like asparagus a lot more now.

Ingredients

as much asparagus as you desire

olive oil

salt & pepper

ham, cut in long bacon-like slices

Roasted Asparagus Directions

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  You want it really hot so that the asparagus can brown on the outside but not turn mushy inside.

2. Pat the stalks dry and lay them out on a baking dish.

3. Drizzle with olive oil, salt, and pepper.  How much is really up to you!

4. Bake for about 8-10 minutes, depending on oven size.

Ham-wrapped Asparagus Directions

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2. Grab a bundle of about three asparagus stalks, depending on the size of the stalk, and wrap with the ham slices.

3. Skewer the ham with a toothpick to hold the bundle together.

4. Bake for about 8 minutes, occasionally turning the bundles over, or until ham beings to brown and crisp up.

It's so simple to make and delicious to eat!  ENJOY~

Ham-wrapped Asparagus